Monday, October 5, 2009

Appian Attack

As of August 1, I am in a different rectory. Feeling cut off from parish life, I desired to move back into a more normal parish than was available at the Cathedral.

But I think I made the natives restless!

A few weeks ago, I awoke to a stinging in my right foot. 'hmm...' thinks I, 'what could that be?'

Still dark, I felt down for my foot, 'nothing feels wrong.' Then I start to hear things. Things that go bzzz in the night....

I flip on the light, and there are fifteen or so bees flying around my bedroom! YIKES! Well, I went all Jason on them and started attacking them with reckless abandon. Pretty soon, the carcases were lying about my feet, I was triumphant! (Wait, there goes another! Get him!)

Well, the next day, I see a few more, but they had pretty much calmed down. Apparently there was a hive in the eave, and they didn't particularly like having their house sprayed, so they swarmed to the next best place: my bedroom!

Over the last two weeks, though, I might have seen one, maybe two a day, but they looked rather sickly. 'No worries, they'll be gone soon.'

Revenge is a dish best served cold, and they are now extracting their revenge!

This morning, about 3:30 (can that even be called 'morning'?), another sharp, stinging pain, now on my toe! 'I know this, and he is a goner!' I caught him in my sheets, but he soon was on his way to the great beehive in the sky.

Keeping an eye out for his buddies, no one doing today. (well, I was at the office all day, so they might have been around...)

His brother wanted to extract even more punishment for the toll I took on his family. (Are these Italian bees?) Sitting at my desk, typing away at an email, 'hmmm.... something crawling up my ankle....' Reaching down and 'YOWZERS!' he got my finger! (which is now conveniently swollen on the tip).

They have awoken the sleeping giant, and now a massive can of Raid sits next to me. I will not be made fun of in such a way. No, I will not!

(anyone have tips on how to get rid of bees?)


Chris Osgood said...

Wasps kill bees. And you only need a few to kill them. After they kill them, then you kill the wasps.

Or have Fr. Brausch come over and get them. He can put them with his other bees.

Adoro said...

Oh, OW! Sorry! Glad you're not'd be dead!

A few years ago when working in Insurance, while looking at a car, something landed on my head, I thought it was a leaf (or bird poop? Ew!) brushed it off.

Of course, when I brushed it, it stung me. Still don't know what it was. Yellow jacket? Wasp? It was incredibly painful, my cell phone was dead, and I couldn't finish the job. Took photos and headed to the office, called manager to tell him what had happened

Thankfully the swelling stopped and no hospital visit needed!

Those creatures are straight from Hell. Kill them all. If you freeze the hive with Nitrous Oxide, that should take care of it. See if you can spray NO in your room, too.

L Hennessey said...

WOW. Good luck with that...

Jackie said...

So Father - is this bee infestation the excuse you are using for the light posting (and then when you do - only posting links to other works?)

I think Chris's idea is a good one - call Fr. Brausch. And if you do - please tell me first as I will bring the popcorn and watch. That will be fun!

Kat said...

I would be dead.

Severely allergic.

Mikki said...

"Bee not afraid."

Ed Winkle said...

In your case, you need an exterminator.

You can do it yourself with Sevin insecticide, safe to humans, death to bees.

You need to get it near their source and that might be a wall or ceiling or something.

If you can get it through the wall material to the colony, all they have to do is walk in Sevin dust and they will be gone.

You might want the professionals to do this but it is not that difficult.

Good luck!

Anonymous said...

If they are honeybees, you need to call a bee keeper.

HONEY BEE - Apis mellifera

From Scherzinger's website: Over the last five years these extremely beneficial insects have become less and less common. Mites, other predators and disease have reduced populations of these important pollinators to dangerous levels. Unless posing a health and safety risk no one should destroy a colony and a bee keeper should be contacted. These are the only stinging insects that will actually survive a winter with the nest or colony intact. All others will die with only the breeding males and females surviving until the next spring.


Anonymous said...

of course if they are yellow jackets, you need to get rid of them.

You might be able to tell the difference in this picture.


Rich Leonardi said...

Are these Italian bees?

I resemble that statement.

LargeBill said...

(anyone have tips on how to get rid of bees?)

Take 'em to the movies and when they go for popcorn sneak out the side exit.

Kurt H said...

So soon after the feast day of St. Francis, I can't help but wonder how he would deal with a swarm of "brother bees."

michael r. said...

Try a prayer to St. Ambrose and St. Bernard of Clairvaux...

Adoro said...

Baptize and Confirm them. You'll never see them again.